we're banging our heads against brick walls
by hale-and-hearty
Summary: (it's a painful way to get his attention.) / comforting is not a word jason would use to describe nico di angelo. / jasico christmas au


**AN: Title taken from Brick Walls by Passenger.**

**I wanted to write three different things—a Christmas fic, a fake relationship fic, and a Jasico fic where Nico pines helplessly over Percy, who is helplessly in love with Luke. I combined them all and this happened. Obviously this is like way late for a Christmas fic (and it's not even a proper Christmas fic at all) and somehow Jason ended up being in love with Percy, too, but it's so much better than my initial concept for it, so I'm pleased with it. Hopefully you guys enjoy it, too!**

**Special thanks go to Taffeh A. Llama for being my cheerleader throughout the entire process of this fic. It's the longest one shot I've ever written, and she was there almost every step of the way, talking out the plot and helping me make it the best (read: angsiest) it could be.**

* * *

Piper announces it casually, like a change in the weather. Just, "Percy's bringing his new boyfriend home for Christmas," slipped in as she turns the page of her magazine and sips at her latte.

It's almost amusing, really, because three out of the seven in the group look up immediately with hurt expressions.

Jason is kind of ashamed to be one of them.

It's not like he has a claim on Percy Jackson, he knows. He _does_. But he also knows that at Thanksgiving last month, when Percy pulled him into the bathroom of Silena and Beckendorf's apartment for a quick blowjob, he hadn't mentioned a boyfriend.

Jason tries to shake off the hurt, because he's been a little bit in love with Percy Jackson since they met in freshman year, and even though that summer when he and Percy started doing a casual friends-with-benefits thing might have been the best time of Jason's life, he's never _owned _Percy Jackson. They both agreed it was just sex, and Percy never said they were exclusive. Jason hates himself a little bit for being upset.

Annabeth's look of dismay is more understandable—she and Percy did their _on-again, off-again, couple of the ages_ thing all the way through the end of senior year, when she broke up with Percy out of practicality (she was going to college in Washington, Percy was staying in New York—too far to visit everyone very often and too close to make it work with Annabeth). She's done a pretty good job of pretending that she doesn't care about Percy anymore right up until this moment, and Jason wonders if she would have looked like that if she'd known about him and Percy. He wonders if she _did _know, but didn't care, because he and Percy were still technically _just friends_.

The real kicker is Nico di Angelo.

Wide-eyed hurt blooms across his features, his cheeks flushing red as his features struggle into some half-grimace as an attempt to keep his composure, and Jason thinks, _Oh_. Suddenly, the way Nico's been hanging around awkwardly since May makes a lot of sense. The way he never looks Percy in the eye, avoids Annabeth like the plague, blushes furiously whenever Percy addresses him.

Jason wants to laugh, but the sound dries up in his throat, and instead he schools his own hurt expression into one of sympathy as he eyes the younger teenager and thinks, _Welcome to the club, kid_.

"I didn't think Percy was dating anyone," Annabeth finally says, breaking the silence. Her voice is soft and impassive, giving away nothing, but her face is still a whirlwind of emotions. "He was definitely single at Thanksgiving."

The way she says it, the way it makes the blush creep over her cheeks and down her chest, makes Jason's heart constrict, and he realizes that maybe he wasn't the only one sneaking off to get reacquainted with Percy Jackson's talented mouth over Thanksgiving holidays.

"I said it was a _new _boyfriend," Piper retorts, rolling her eyes. "They've been together for like, two weeks."

Annabeth's face twists into something sour, and Hazel says, "That's kind of soon to be taking someone home to meet your friends and family, isn't it?"

Piper shrugs, then looks up from her magazine, a wide grin stretching over her mouth. "I met Jason's sister after we'd been dating for just three weeks."

Jason winces. "That's not really the best example," he says, slowly, and Leo snickers.

"That's because your head was under Piper's skirt when Thalia walked in," he says, and Hazel's eyes go wide, blush spreading rapidly over her cheeks. Frank looks torn between amusement and embarrassment, too. Piper looks smug, Annabeth looks like she's still thinking about Percy and not paying attention _at all_, and Nico looks like he might be concerned for Hazel's virtue.

Jason says, "You'd understand if you'd ever gotten a hand under a girl's skirt, Valdez, much less your mouth."

He only says it because he knows it'll rile Leo up—it always does, when Jason says something sleazy—and he tunes out Leo's response and Piper's indignant retort, looks back at Nico and Annabeth and thinks, Percy Jackson doesn't even know the effect he has on everyone.

* * *

They meet Percy and his boyfriend at Adonis Café, because Silena and Beckendorf own it and it's a neutral environment.

When Jason walks in, Percy is standing with Annabeth, grinning stupidly at her as she laughs at something he said, and when Percy catches sight of Jason, he reaches over, snatches Jason's glasses off of his face, and says, "Wow, man, you are fucking _blind_."

Jason remembers that this is why he started wearing contacts in sophomore year, because Percy made a comment like this, and he takes his glasses back and scowls at Percy. "Asshole," he mutters, and Percy just laughs and pulls Jason into a hug by the front of his cardigan.

"I missed you," Percy says into his ear, and Jason thinks, _No homo, though_, and then Percy pushes him back, two palms flat on Jason's chest, looking up at him thoughtfully. "Have you grown?" he asks. "Dude, I think you're taller than me now."

Annabeth says, "Jason has been taller than you for three years, Percy," and Jason snorts because up until Percy's junior year of high school, Annabeth had been taller than Percy, too.

Percy pouts. "God, it's not my fault I'm surrounded by giants. I'm six foot, okay, I shouldn't have to break my neck just to look you guys in the eye when you speak."

Jason laughs, feels himself relax, because this is the Percy Jackson who got suspended from school for two weeks for punching the asshole who slapped Hazel's ass in the hallway, the Percy who played video games with Jason for nine hours straight when the new Halo game came out, the Percy who left prom right before he was supposed to be crowned prom king just to drive halfway across town to forcibly pick up Piper when she got stood up by her prom date and announced that she wasn't going to prom after all. This is the Percy Jackson Jason fell in love with.

And then the tall, blue-eyed blond walks—no, _swaggers_—out of the bathroom, in ripped skinny jeans and a Green Day t-shirt underneath a leather jacket, and Percy's face goes soft in that way it used to when he looked at Annabeth, before they broke up. And the blond drapes his arm over Percy's shoulder and nuzzles his nose into the mop of dark, shaggy hair on Percy's head, before looking sheepishly at Jason and saying, "Hi, I'm Luke. I'm Percy's boyfriend."

Jason shakes his proffered hand and says, "I'm Jason," and ignores the biting satisfaction at the base of his skull that whispers _he looks like me_.

He tells himself, _No, _you _look like _him, and shakes himself, goes to get his coffee—black, no milk or sugar—and looks up when the bell over the door rings.

Nico bypasses Luke and Percy and Annabeth at their booth completely—walks straight up to the counter, pushes a five dollar bill at the girl behind the counter (Calypso, Jason thinks is her name), and mutters something about his usual before looking Jason in the eye and saying, deadpan, "He looks like a douchebag."

Jason can't stop the snort that leaves his mouth. "He seems okay, I guess."

"Total douchebag," Nico says, ignoring Jason's comment. Jason laughs again, and Nico glances over at him, eyes lighting up a little bit, a soft smile tugging at the corners of Nico's mouth before it fades back into a scowl.

"You haven't even talked to him," Jason says, and Calypso passes him his drink. He takes it, blows on it while he waits for Nico to answer, sips it and still burns his tongue. Hides his grimace in the paper coffee cup.

"I don't have to," Nico insists. "I can tell just by looking at him. He likes _Green Day_, that's like, the band of douchebaggery."

Jason arches a brow. "My sister likes Green Day."

_Likes _is an understatement, which is proven when Thalia chooses that moment to walk into the café, wearing a Green Day shirt that looks suspiciously like the one Luke is wearing, and looks at Luke, then down at her own shirt, and then at Percy, before announcing, "I approve of this union."

Nico's face twists into something bitter. "Whatever," he mutters, and Calypso hands Nico his drink—something sugary, with whipped cream on top, and Jason raises his brow because he always expects Nico to get black coffee to complete the tortured-soul look he has going for him, what with the aviator jacket and the shredded black jeans and the combat boots—and turns away, walking over to the booth with Percy, Annabeth, Thalia, and Luke, and Jason trails after him.

It's later, when everyone—Frank, Piper, Leo, and Hazel—is there, all curled up in booths and the comfortable couches and arm chairs, when Luke is telling some story about how he once made out with Jennifer Lawrence, that Jason leans over to whisper into Nico's ear, "You're totally right. He's such a douchebag."

Nico snorts, looks down and swirls his straw through the whipped cream at the bottom of his mug. "Told you," he says, and glances back up at Luke. "How likely do you think it is that his story is complete bullshit?"

Jason's not bitter, he _isn't_, but it's so easy. He says, "Well, he'd be losing the game if we were playing," and Nico laughs, loud, throwing his head back and shaking all over, and a smug smile creeps over Jason's lips before he realizes that the others are staring, mouths hanging open.

"Dude," Percy says, when Nico's laugh peters out and his cheeks flush as he realizes he has everyone's attention. "I don't think I've ever seen you laugh like that."

Nico blushes even darker, looks back down at his coffee, and Hazel says, eyes wide, "What was so funny about what Luke was saying?"

Luke looks kind of amused, eyebrows arched. He says, "I was just talking about how my brief career as an actor let me make out with Jennifer Lawrence when we were fourteen. It's funny, but not _that _funny."

Nico gives him a look of badly concealed contempt, and Jason tries not to smirk. "It was something _Jason _said, actually," Nico says, voice sharp, and then everyone's eyes are on Jason.

"Dude," Leo says, "what the hell did you say to make di Angelo laugh like that?"

Jason opens his mouth, closes it again. Finds himself saying, "Inside joke," and wincing because it sounds so fucking _stupid_, and since when the hell has he ever had inside jokes with Nico di Angelo?

Piper gives him a considering look from where she's half-lying in Annabeth's lap, a look that says she knows something he doesn't, and Jason has given up on trying to interpret her cryptic looks, so he just raises a brow at her.

Percy pokes Luke in the side, leans up to whisper something in Luke's ear that makes Luke's mouth twist into a lewd grin, makes his hand slide up the inside of Percy's thigh, and Jason's stomach twists. He sees Nico watching them out of his peripheral vision, too, and nudges Nico with his elbow so that Nico looks at him, and he whispers, "He's groping Perce in public. Can this guy _get _any tackier?"

Nico's delighted peal of laughter is enough to keep Jason at it, throughout the entire afternoon—leaning over to whisper sharp digs at Luke into Nico's ear, trading snarky remarks and bitter quips, and Jason thinks about that phrase, _misery loves company_, and he thinks misery isn't so miserable when you have someone to joke about it with.

* * *

They're standing outside of Adonis Café, looking up at the darkening sky, bundled up in their winter coats, and Jason is waiting for Thalia and Luke to stop talking about Green Day and come outside so he and Thalia can split the cab-fare home, and Percy is puffing on a cigarette and talking in loud voices with Frank and Leo and Hazel, so it's just Nico and Jason, standing side by side.

"I bet Luke is only in it for the sex," Nico is saying, in that same bitter tone he's been using all afternoon. "I mean, he looks like that kind of guy, you know? The kind who plays the field, rips hearts out left and right just to get laid."

Jason opens his mouth to respond in kind (to agree, because Luke _does _have that air about him), when he realizes how eerily silent Percy, Frank, Hazel, and Leo are being, and he looks over to see them all staring at him and Nico, Percy with a look on his face like someone (Octavian) just gutted his favorite teddy bear in front of him.

"What?" Percy says, his voice bordering on a whimper. His eyes narrow at Nico, the lines of his face hardening. "Are you seriously saying that about my _boyfriend_?"

Nico opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. Percy talks over whatever he would have said, anyways.

"I _get _it," he snaps, glaring at Nico, "I do. You don't like Luke, which you've made _abundantly clear _by glaring at him all night. But you don't have to be such an asshole about it, god. You could have just made an excuse and left like a fucking normal human being, you know? You don't have to say he's just using me for sex to get your point across, jackass."

"I'm sorry," Nico says, voice small. He looks down at his combat boots. "I didn't mean—"

"Yeah," Percy interrupts, "you fucking _did _mean. I can't believe you'd come here and complain about my boyfriend like—like your opinion matters _at all_. It's not like I even invited you here to meet Luke, like I would have _cared _if you weren't here. You just, hang around us, making bitter comments all the time, snapping at me and everyone else, and then you say shit like _this_."

Nico's face pales, he looks up at Percy quickly and looks back at the ground, and Jason almost steps in, almost, but Luke is stepping out of the café, frowning.

"Percy?" he's saying. "I could see you yelling from inside. You okay?"

Percy doesn't look at him, just keeps glaring at Nico, all the lines in his face making it clear how upset and angry and disappointed he is, and Jason wonders if Percy has worried about it, too. About Luke just using him for sex.

"In the entire time I've known you," Percy says to Nico, voice shaking, "you have been a bitter asshole who never seems to care about anyone other than yourself. You can say whatever the fuck you want about Luke, but you're not going to say it in front of me just because you have _no fucking idea _what it's like to love someone you're not obligated to."

Nico looks up, then, his voice morphing from hurt and apologetic to angry in a heartbeat. "You've been dating Luke for two weeks," he retorts, voice tight with restrained fury. "If you think you love him this early on in the relationship, you deserve to get used for sex. That's all you're good for, anyways, right?"

He shoots Jason a pointed look, and Jason has enough time for his stomach to roll before Nico is turning on his heel, stalking down the sidewalk.

"_Nico_," Hazel gasps, her voice a sharp reprimand, but she's looking back and forth between him and Percy like she's not sure it's _Nico _she should be reprimanding.

"Hey!" Percy calls after Nico, eyes welling with angry tears. "At least I'm good for _something_!"

Nico stops, the lines of his shoulders tightening, and Percy's voice goes quiet, shakier than before, in that same way it did when he told Jason about his step-dad, and Jason hates feeling caught in the crossfire.

"Maybe I want to be used," Percy says. "Maybe it reminds me that I'm wanted. But at least people want me. At least I know what it's like to _love_ and _be loved_."

Nico turns, then, slowly. Looks Percy dead in the eye. Says, "What the fuck do you know about me, huh? About whether or not I've ever loved someone? Maybe if you paid attention to someone other than yourself for _five fucking minutes_, you'd know that I've been in love with the same asshole since May."

Percy freezes, stares at Nico, and Nico stares back. And then Percy's face crumples, his shoulders slumping, and Luke reaches for him like he's worried Percy is going to fall, but Percy doesn't. Instead, he flings himself across the sidewalk and wraps himself around Nico like a starfish.

"I'm sorry," Jason can hear him murmuring into Nico's hair, over and over and over again. _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

When Percy pulls away, he wipes his cheeks, wipes Nico's cheeks, and sniffles and says, "I didn't know you were dating someone. God, I'm such an asshole."

Nico pauses, eyes widening, mouth gaping open. And then, voice tense, he says, "Yeah, you are," and Percy laughs, and Nico does, too, a little bit, but he looks over Percy's shoulder at Jason with a panicked look on his face, and Jason realizes that Nico wants him to _do something _about this.

He doesn't get the chance.

"Wait," Hazel says, voice soft and hurt, "you have a boyfriend? And you didn't tell me?"

Leo says, "Dude, how did you manage to bag a date when you never stop scowling?"

Frank wraps an arm around Hazel, offers, "Uh, congratulations, I guess?"

"Guys, maybe Nico didn't say anything about it because he wasn't ready to talk about it," Jason interrupts.

Nico shoots Jason a grateful look, but Percy pouts. "Come on, if he's been dating this guy since May, we deserve to know by now! That's, like, a long time to be in a secret relationship."

Luke looks so fucking amused by the conversation. Jason wants to hit him, a little bit.

"I haven't been dating him since May," Nico says, slowly. His eyes are still wide, searching the street lights and outside tables like they're going to help him crawl out of the hole he dug himself into. "It's, um. Kind of a new thing? But I've liked him. Since May."

"You moved here in May, didn't you?" Leo drawls. "That's a long time to be obsessed with someone without making a move. Did you finally grow a pair and tell the poor sap you like him?"

Nico gives him an annoyed look. "Says the asshole who's been rejected by the same coffee shop barista forty-seven times."

"What's his name?" Hazel interrupts, before they can get into an argument. They've always argued a lot—Piper jokes that's it's "unresolved sexual tension," and Jason tries not to gag on the mental image that provides.

"Um," Nico says, and Jason reaches for him on impulse, wrapping his fingers lightly around Nico's upper arm. Through the café windows, he can see Thalia watching him, even as she talks to Silena and Beckendorf, with the same look on her face that Piper had earlier, like she knows something about Jason that he's trying to hide.

"Guys," Jason says. "Nico will tell us when he's ready." If it were anyone else, he'd give Nico a reassuring smile and squeeze his arm. But he knows this is bullshit, knows Nico is just going with it because that's what Percy assumed and Nico doesn't want to admit that he's in love with Percy. So he lets his arm fall to his side instead.

Nico gives him a shaky smile. "Thanks."

"Fine," Percy huffs. Then he points at Nico. "I want to meet the mystery guy soon, though, okay?"

Nico nods, mutters something towards the affirmative, and then Percy and Luke are climbing into a taxi and leaving, and Leo goes back into the café, announcing he's going to hitch a ride home with his step-brother, and Hazel and Frank begin speaking to each other in low voices.

Nico pulls Jason farther away from them, his fingers clenched tightly around Jason's wrist.

"Jason," Nico hisses, when they're out of earshot. "Jason, I don't _have _a boyfriend."

Jason feels kind of touched that Nico's telling him. "Nico," he says, "I _know_, okay?"

Nico blinks at him, falters. "What?"

Jason sighs. "The asshole you've been in love with since May. It's Percy, right?" Nico's cheeks flush, and he opens his mouth—maybe to protest—but Jason talks over him. "It's okay. The others obviously haven't noticed. Besides—" And Jason feels his own cheeks heat up, and he wills himself not to look away. "You know about me and Percy, too, so I think it's fair that I know about this."

Nico frowns, runs his fingers through his hair, and Jason idly thinks that Nico needs a haircut. "You guys weren't very subtle," he mutters.

Jason snorts. "You tell me this _now_. I didn't think anyone knew."

Nico shrugs, looks at his feet, at the smoggy sky, at Hazel and Frank over his shoulder. "Jason," he says quietly, "I _don't have a boyfriend_. I can't _pretend_ to have one. What am I thinking? I can't do this alone."

Jason hesitates, then reaches for Nico's hand, curls their fingers together. "You don't have to," he offers.

He's beginning to think Nico's default reaction to everything is wide-eyes and red-cheeks, just like his resting face is a scowl.

"Are you," Nico begins, and stops. Gives Jason a scrutinizing stare. Starts over. "Are you suggesting what I think you are?"

"I'm offering to help you pretend to have a boyfriend until Percy leaves," Jason says. "Because being in love with Percy Jackson kind of sucks, and it's got to be even worse when he's got everyone convinced you have a boyfriend. And, besides. You can't take it back now without admitting you like him."

Nico pulls his hand out of Jason's, scrubs it down his face and mutters, "Fuck."

Jason waits. Finally, Nico looks up and says, "So, you want to pretend date me, lie to all of our friends, just so I can save a little face? Why would you do that for me?

That's not what Jason had in mind (he was thinking, helping Nico come up with a plausible fake boyfriend and maybe creating said fake boyfriend a fake Facebook profile, because Jason has read a few too many pre-teen romance novels, apparently), but…but that works, too. Even better, actually.

"Because we're friends," Jason says. He doesn't say, _Because it makes me look like I moved on, too. Like I wasn't just waiting for Percy to come back to hook up with me again_.

Nico laughs bitterly. "So you're going to play the hero just like always, huh? Even for me?"

Jason gives him a thoughtful look, represses the sudden urge to reach out and ruffle Nico's hair. "Always," he says. He means it.

* * *

They decide they've been dating since the first week of December. Jason was the one to ask Nico out, during their shared free period at school. Their first date was in Santa Land, and they scarred several mothers and children when they made out under the mistletoe on one of the sleighs. They didn't want to tell anyone yet because of how _new _it was. They haven't had sex yet.

_Not even oral? _Jason teased, when they were working out the details via text message after that night outside Adonis Café.

Nico texted back, _Your mouth isn't as pretty as Percy's. Not even oral_. Jason had solemnly agreed.

* * *

"How should we tell them?" Jason asks over coffee at the Starbucks four blocks over from Adonis Café. It's safe here, away from the prying eyes of their friends.

Nico licks whipped cream off of the tip of his straw, and Jason wonders, distantly, if he's trying to be seductive—it's not working, really. Nico looks like a cat, lapping at the green straw as he ponders his answer. Jason thinks if it was Percy's tongue wrapped around the straw, he'd probably be adjusting himself in his pants and thinking about his dad and step-mom having sex to ward off the awkward boner.

"We're not going to tell them," Nico says after a moment, sticking his straw back in his cup. He looks up at Jason, eyes dark and serious. "We're just going to let them think they've figured it out on their own."

Jason arches a brow. "Any suggestions as to how exactly we're going to make them think we don't want them to know we're dating whilst _trying _to make them think we're dating?"

Nico smirks, glances away from Jason, his cheeks flushing red. "We could let them catch us making out," he says, and Jason blinks.

"Right to the point," Jason says after a moment, nodding. "I mean, still kind of suspicious, but beyond 'accidentally' letting Piper snoop through scandalous text messages…"

Nico gives him a bitch-face. "I'm not sending you dick pics," he deadpans.

Jason chokes on his coffee. "Dude, no," he says, shaking his head. Even the burn of too-hot coffee on the roof of his mouth wasn't enough to stop his incredulous, "That's not _at all _what I meant."

Nico's mouth quirks into a slight smirk. "Are you saying you _don't _want to see my dick? What kind of fake boyfriend are you?"

Jason gapes at him, and Nico snorts. "Calm down, I'm joking. We'll just do the making out thing, okay? I'll make a scene or something, storm outside, you can chase after me like you're going to play hero, and then we'll just make out until someone else comes to find us."

Jason mutters, "Shut up. Have you ever even kissed a guy before?"

He's joking, but Nico arches a brow in challenge, then launches himself over the table, his mouth clashing against Jason's, their noses banging together. Jason has the time to make a noise, like, _hrmphgh_, and then Nico's fingers are wound tightly in his hair, his tongue grazing Jason's lower lip, and his head tilts to the side and then everything falls into place and Jason kind of moans a little bit, sighs into the kiss, reaches up and curls his fingers around Nico's arms just to pull him that little bit closer.

It's sloppier than kissing Percy (but then, Percy learned everything he knows about kissing and sex from _Annabeth_, so of course he's good at it), dirtier, but it makes Jason cling that much tighter to Nico's biceps, makes him slide his tongue along Nico's tongue and taste sugar and vanilla and coffee beans, makes him think about pulling Nico apart underneath him with his mouth and his fingers and vanilla flavored lube and—

Nico pulls away, lips red and glistening, cheeks flushed, a smug smile on his mouth as he settles back into his booth. "Does it feel like I've kissed a guy before?" he taunts, and Jason gapes at him.

"_Asshole_," he hisses when he can breathe again, and Nico just smirks widely.

"Come on," Nico says, standing. "Let's get out of here. The Starbucks employees are eyeing us—smug bastards, clearly haven't seen two guys making out before."

Jason laughs, lets Nico guide him outside, follows him to the subway and boards the same train, but gets off a station before Nico does.

When Jason jerks off later that night, he definitely doesn't do it to the idea of just what Nico's mouth, glistening and red, would look like stretched around his cock.

* * *

They do it on Christmas Eve, when everyone is gathered in Beckendorf and Silena's living room for the Christmas Party they host, without fail, every year.

Jason is pretty sure the eggnog is spiked, and he's had Nico by his side all night, whispering snarky comments about Luke's sweater ("God, did he knit that himself? The abominable snowman, more like the abominable knitting.") and his reindeer ears ("What are we, middle schoolers?"). It's Piper who triggers it, accidentally.

"Hey, assholes," she says, reaching up to pat Jason's cheek lightly as she passes by. "Stop brooding in the corner and come play Cards Against Humanity with us?"

Across the room, Percy is snatching the antlers off of Luke's head, laughing as he puts them on his own, and Luke kisses his nose and proclaims, "You're even cuter in those than you normally are."

Jason rolls his eyes, and Nico makes a gagging noise.

Piper narrows her eyes at them and puts her hands on her hips. "Guys," she says, voice sharp. "Come on. Give them a break. They've been pining after each other since they met in, like, August. They're allowed to be the obnoxiously adorable couple for now."

Nico snorts. Piper wags her finger in front of his face. "Don't think I don't know you've got a boyfriend now, too, Nico di Angelo. Don't even think I don't already know who your boyfriend is. When you guys decide to stop being idiots and just admit that you're dating, we'll all be gracious and accepting and let you do obnoxiously adorable couple things, too. Until then, suck it up and deal with Percy and Luke."

Nico gives her a wide-eyed look, opening his mouth and then closing it again. When he finally regains the ability to speak, what he says is, "But Luke's an asshole."

Piper shrugs. "Yeah, he is. But look—Percy is happy with him. We'll deal with the fallout if and when it comes, okay? For now, stop bitch-facing everyone because you're too scared to hold hands with your boyfriend in public, and come play Cards Against Humanity with us."

Nico stares at her. Then he looks up at Jason, still wide-eyed, and mutters, "I need a smoke."

He takes off down the hallway, outside onto the front porch, and Jason realizes that that's his cue.

He looks back at Piper. "I, um. I'm going to go smoke with him."

Jason doesn't smoke. Piper knows that. She arches a brow, gives him a look and Jason thinks, _She knows, fuck, she knows_, but Piper simply says, "Fine. We'll play the first round without you." And then she adds, pointedly, "Don't take too long," before spinning on her heel and stalking across the room.

Jason makes his way out onto the front porch to stand next to Nico.

"Hey," he says.

Nico gives him a cryptic look and blows smoke into his face. "You don't have to do this, you know," he says, voice shaking just slightly. "Piper already thinks we're fucking—you can back out, Jason. You don't have to convince your friends you're sleeping with me just so I don't have to admit that I let Percy believe what he wanted to believe."

Jason hesitates, then steps forward, into Nico's space, takes the cigarette from Nico's shaking fingers and drops it onto the porch, snubbing it out with the toe of his sneaker. Then he looks back up at Nico, takes one of Nico's hands and puts it on his waist and twines his fingers through the other, and he wraps his free hand around Nico's neck. Presses their foreheads together, smells gingerbread and eggnog and vodka and smoke on Nico's breath, and presses their mouths together in a soft, easy line.

That's how Octavian finds them, pressed snugly up against each other from forehead down, chests heaving, hips making aborted grinding motions towards one another's, knees knocking together.

"What," Octavian says, voice flat, and Jason jerks away from Nico, struggling to catch his breath. Octavian gives them a steady once-over, takes in their disheveled states, before turning on his heel and walking back inside.

A second later, they hear, "Anyone want to tell me why the _fuck _Grace and that scrawny emo kid are _fucking _on the _porch_?" And then, softer, bordering on a whine, "I just wanted to smoke, I never asked for your gay porn."

There's silence. The music even cuts off, abruptly ending another rousing rendition of Jingle Bell Rock. Jason and Nico look at each other, and Jason says, "Well, that could have gone worse."

Nico's cheeks are flushed, his mouth parted slightly. "Fuck you," he whispers, and they listen as one voice rings out inside.

"I was gone for like a month," Percy sputters. "How much can I fucking miss out on in a _month_?"

* * *

They go back inside to incredulous stares. Hazel looks genuinely distraught, Piper looks smug, Annabeth and Frank look only sort of intrigued. Leo keeps muttering, "I'm your _best friend_, I can't believe you didn't tell me this," Silena and Beckendorf have disappeared back into the kitchen, and Thalia seems to have disappeared entirely (Jason suspects she took off to hang out with her other friends, the group of girls who are pretty much sworn against men and dating in general). Percy is gaping like a fucking fish while Luke looks on with mild amusement, and Rachel waves Octavian off as he mumbles something about going outside to smoke and "I better not find jizz on this porch, I swear to god."

"Um," Jason says, reaching up to rub the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well. This isn't really how we planned to tell you guys."

"Probably shouldn't have made out on the porch, then," Piper chirps.

Jason winces. Percy says, voice loud and high, "Dude, why didn't you guys say something last week when I asked? Oh, my god, this explains _so much_."

Nico folds his arms over his chest and says stiffly, "We didn't want to tell anyone yet."

"Oh, good," Leo snaps, "so you're stabbing _everyone_ in the back, not just your _best friend_."

"Leo," Jason says, and fixes him with a glare. "We've been dating for three weeks. It was just…too new."

Rachel chimes in helpfully, "Percy and Luke have only been dating for three weeks, too, and Luke's already met his mom."

Nico gives her an icy glare, and she smirks back at him, unapologetic.

"I just want to know," Piper interrupts, "why you guys thought you could hide this from _me_? I figured it out last Sunday."

Jason blinks. "You could tell?"

He wants to laugh, because there's nothing going on between him and Nico di Angelo, they hadn't even decided to _pretend _there was something going on until after Piper left that night, so Piper must be losing her touch. But then he thinks that maybe Piper isn't losing her touch, maybe she's just seeing potential that's already there, and he feels like throwing up.

"You weren't very subtle," Piper says, shrugging. She points at the empty love seat, vacated by Silena and Beckendorf. "Sit," she orders. "I want to hear about how you got together."

Jason and Nico sit.

"It wasn't, you know, special or elaborate or anything," Nico mumbles, fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater. "I was having a bad day, Jason cornered me during our free period at school to find out what was wrong, and I'd been pretending not to feel anything for so long, I just. Snapped." He clears his throat. "I kissed him. He kissed me back. That's it."

Piper coos over them, eyes soft and dreamy, and Rachel, Hazel, and Percy go _aww_. Annabeth nods, like she approves. Leo rolls his eyes and says, "You guys are a walking rom-com."

Piper smacks the back of his head. "Shut up, Valdez," she snips. "Go help Silena with the turkey."

Leo arches a brow. "But she has Beckendorf for that."

Piper looks at him, her gaze frosty, and he groans and climbs to his feet, flipping her off before he disappears into the kitchen. Piper takes his seat beside Annabeth and looks at Jason and Nico expectantly.

"Tell me about the first date," she demands.

Jason takes this one. "We, uh. We went to Santa Land." He ducks his head, and his blush is real. To be honest, he's always wanted to take someone to Santa Land as a date. He likes the idea of making out underneath twinkly lights.

"Annabeth and I did that one year," Percy breaks in, eyes lighting up. "Did you guys get kicked out for making out on the sleigh ride? Because Annabeth and I did, but it was _worth it_."

Annabeth tosses Percy this look, this hopelessly smitten, love-stricken look, and Jason just wants to hug her. Because almost everyone knows what it's like to be in love with Percy Jackson and not have him reciprocate the feeling, but Annabeth is the only one who _knew _what it was like to be loved back by him, and she lost that.

"Dude," Luke says, rolling his eyes and nudging Percy's shoulder with his.

Percy laughs. "Sorry, babe. We can go to Santa Land and get kicked out for making out on the sleigh ride, too."

Luke cracks a joke about not wanting Annabeth's sloppy seconds, and then Piper mentions that she met someone she thinks Annabeth would be perfect with, and the conversation slowly loses focus. Jason sighs in relief, lets his head drop onto Nico's shoulder and closes his eyes, breathes in deeply. "Thank fuck that's over," he mutters into the shoulder of Nico's sweater.

Nico makes a small sound in the back of his throat, like he agrees, and Jason drifts off to the lull of conversation around him and the sharp, heady scent of smoke and gingerbread clinging to Nico's sweater.

* * *

"Now what?" Nico asks, when Jason drives him home later that night. "I mean, everyone thinks we're dating now, so…what next?"

Jason blinks, watching the windshield wipers move back and forth, pushing snow away from the windows faster than it can pile up, and taps his fingers against the steering wheel. Traffic in Manhattan is the actual worst.

"Uh," he says. "Shit."

Nico snorts derisively. "Not helpful."

Jason flips him off, inching the car forward. He should have just taken the subway like everyone else, he thinks. "I don't know. No one thinks you're in love with Percy, no one thinks _I'm _in love with Percy... What else are we supposed to do? Make Percy jealous?" Jason pauses, makes a face. "Go on _actual dates_?"

Nico gags. "Ew, no. You're not my type."

"Fuck you, too," Jason murmurs.

Nico says, "Pretty sure we just decided that we're _not _doing that because I'm _not _interested."

Jason arches a brow at him, and Nico pouts. "Okay, so, you have a nice ass? But you wear those stupid hipster glasses, and your fucking khaki skinny jeans, and your sweaters and cardigans that are softer than actual clouds." He scowls. "Do I look like I'd be into your indie hipster shit? I'm _punk rock_."

Nico gestures to his baggy, shredded black jeans, his oversized skull sweater, the aviator jacket clinging to his shoulders, the combat boots that are all buckles and zippers, as if to say, _see? i'm too punk rock for you_.

Jason says, "I'm actually kind of blind, so I need these glasses."

Nico raises his eyebrows. "Really? It's not just you following the trend? Because you didn't wear glasses when we met."

Jason's cheeks flush, and he steadily avoids Nico's gaze as he admits, "I stopped wearing glasses when I was fifteen because Percy made a comment about how I was as blind as some underground fish he was studying. I started wearing them again in August."

"When Percy went to college," Nico says, like he knows Jason isn't going to. "Because Percy wasn't here to comment on them anymore."

Jason purses his lips. "My glasses are more comfortable than contacts," he says, and out of his peripheral vision, he can see the pitying look the younger teen is giving him.

"You've got it so bad for him," Nico says, voice soft. He slumps down in the passenger seat, twisting to look out his window instead of looking at Jason. "Fuck, does Percy even know what he's doing to you? To me? To Annabeth? You and Annabeth look at him like he fucking hung the sun in the sky, and I'm sure I look just as stupid. And for some reason, he's dating that _asshole _whose criminal record is probably longer than Percy's _Christmas list_, and I just. It doesn't make sense. Percy could have literally anyone he wanted, and the guy he chooses is a complete asshole who's most likely only going to hurt him in the end."

Jason's fingers clench around the steering wheel, and he pulls onto Nico's street, past brightly lit houses, decked out in Christmas lights and Nativity displays.

"Percy has a type," he says, quietly, when he pulls into Nico's driveway. "Blond-haired, light-eyed assholes who are going to do everything they can for him, and will still never be enough." He turns his eyes to the ceiling of his Camaro, carefully avoiding Nico's searching gaze. "I have no doubt that Luke is an asshole. But he's going to do his best to be everything Percy needs, because Percy has that air about him that _demands _respect and adoration. And one day he'll join the club of rejects, and Percy will move on just like he always does."

Nico opens the door to the car, but doesn't get out. Jason looks over at him, sees the indecision warring over Nico's features, and finally Nico mutters, "God, Jason. You're not an asshole. Annabeth is, sometimes, and so is Luke, but you…fuck, you're the nicest bastard I've ever met." Then he leans over, presses a quick kiss to Jason's cheek, and slips out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him.

* * *

Piper calls Jason around lunchtime on Christmas day, when he and Thalia are arguing about what they should order in for lunch and whether or not they should call their mother to wish her a merry Christmas. (Jason votes yes, because their mother might be a bitch, but she's also their _mother_; Thalia adamantly refuses on account of their mother being a "crack whore prostitute parading around under the guise of being an actress.")

"So," Piper says, her voice tinny over the phone, "what are you and Nico doing tonight?"

Jason blinks. "Uh, nothing?"

Piper makes a horrified sound. "Jason Grace," she says, voice stern, "you are going to do something with your boyfriend on Christmas Day, and you are going to _like _it."

"Threatening me to hang out with my boyfriend seems like kind of a moot point," Jason muses, grinning up until he realizes that Thalia is watching him with narrowed eyes. "You're forgetting I'm dating him because I actually _like _him. I _want _to spend time with him. That's the whole point of dating someone."

He can hear Piper's eye roll through the phone. "Just be ready by seven, asshole. Wear the flannel I gave you last night, and your blue jeans—_not _your khaki skinny jeans, I swear to god. Just regular old blue jeans, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," Jason says, and Piper heaves a put-upon sigh before promptly hanging up. Jason sets his phone back down on the counter and looks up at Thalia. "I guess I'm going out with Piper and Nico tonight," he tells her, his voice careful.

Thalia purses her lips. "Leaving me to be by myself on Christmas just like Dad and Hera, huh?"

Her voice has a teasing lilt to it, but her features struggle to match.

"I'm sorry," Jason offers. "I was going to stay here, but Piper…"

Thalia huffs softly. "Whatever. It's fine. I'll just see if Reyna is doing anything."

Jason stiffens. Thalia rolls her eyes and says, "It's not like you don't know Reyna and I still hang out. I've always liked her."

"I know you hang out," Jason begins, keeping his voice steady and calm, "but it's not fair to me _or _her that you only mention her when you want to upset me."

Thalia's body coils tight, and Jason remembers, distantly, something their therapist said to him shortly after his parents separated (or, more like, his dad left in a hurry while his mom chased him out screaming about how she deserved better and he could have all the whores he wanted, but he wasn't allowed near her children—Jason's dad still got full-custody, and that was maybe the only time Jason had ever seen his mother cry in his entire life). How he and Thalia were just like their parents, in personality and the way they fought like cats and dogs. But the difference was, Dr. Brunner had said, was that Jason's parents made a commitment to love each other and never followed through; Jason and Thalia were obligated by birth to love each other, but it was as much a choice as an obligation, and that if Jason and Thalia wanted to get through the rough patch of their parents' divorce, they needed to stick together.

Jason takes a slow, deep breath, and says, "I'm not going to fight with you, Thals. Not about this. Not on Christmas."

And Thalia's shoulders slump, her mouth still quirked into a frown, before she says, "Apparently you're not going to stay with me on Christmas, either," and stalks out of the room.

* * *

"So, wait," Percy says, holding up his hand and cocking his head to the side. "If my date is Luke and Jason's date is Nico, then is _your _date Piper?"

Annabeth's cheeks flush red, and she tilts her gaze skyward. "Don't," she says, a warning tone in her voice. Piper laughs and slings an arm over Annabeth's shoulders, smacking a kiss on her cheek.

"We're just three queer couples out for a night on the town," she drawls, bright and cheery, and Annabeth heaves a put-upon sigh, even as the corners of her mouth lift into a smile.

Jason looks over at Nico and raises a brow, as if to ask, _what's going on there? _Nico just shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest. Jason hesitates before sliding his arms around Nico's waist, pulling the younger teen into his chest and hooking his chin over Nico's shoulder, even though he has to bend down a little to reach him. Nico stiffens against him, and Jason wants to say _calm down, we're fake-dating, i'm allowed to touch you _but he doesn't because he knows Nico hates being touched and he also knows that Piper will get suspicious if Jason isn't an exception to Nico's No Touching rule.

"Can we go get coffee or something?" Annabeth asks, shaking Piper's arm off of her shoulders when she shoves her hands into her coat pockets. "It's freezing out here."

"It's Christmas," Percy says mildly. "It's _supposed _to be cold."

Luke snorts, his hand twined through Percy's, and says, "You have obviously never been to Texas."

"Texas is fucking insane," Percy retorts. "They don't do things like the rest of the world does things."

"What about California?" Jason offers. "I lived there until eighth grade, remember? I almost froze to death the first Christmas I spent in New York."

Percy blinks. "Oh, right," he says. "I forget you haven't always lived here. You're just sort of _there_, you know?"

Jason stiffens, and Nico looks up at him, all pitying and soft, his arms uncrossing and sliding down over the tops of Jason's, lacing their fingers together in a gesture that is probably supposed to be comforting. Jason buries his face in Nico's neck to hide his surprise. _Comforting _is not a word Jason would use to describe Nico di Angelo.

"You look really good today," Nico says abruptly, his voice soft and low, meant just for Jason. "The flannel and blue jeans thing. It's a good look on you, beneath your stupid hipster pea coat."

Jason snorts into Nico's neck. "I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not." He lifts his head and Nico gives him a smug smile, and he can see Piper and Percy watching them curiously. He wonders if they overheard, wonders if he and Nico are pulling off the obnoxious couple thing. Wonders how far this is going to go, and what they're going to do when Percy leaves for Christmas. How long they're going to keep up this charade of being smitten with each other.

Jason's stomach twists at the idea of fake-breaking up with Nico, of them having to keep up the stupid façade of being heartbroken even after they don't have any reason to pretend. Thinks about ten years in the future when he or Nico lets slip that they never actually dated, and the amused and betrayed looks their friends will give them.

Jason doesn't want any of this, not anymore. He wants to date someone for real—not having to worry about keeping secrets and telling lies.

What's more, he wants to date _Nico_. He's not sure how, but over the last week and a half, he's stopped thinking so much about what Percy thought and how much he wanted him and started thinking about Nico in general, the way his nose wrinkles when he's trying not to smile and the freckles sprinkled across his cheeks and the dimples that only ever come out when he's really smiling, and his long, nimble fingers and messy hair and the way his mouth tastes.

Jason knows, rationally, that he's only noticing any of this because he's spent so much time with Nico since they decided to have a fake relationship two weeks ago. He also knows that it doesn't matter _how _you notice someone, because once you notice them, they're _there_, at the forefront of your mind, all the time.

Jason thinks he probably would have noticed all of these things so much sooner if he hadn't been blinded by Percy Jackson's existence. But he knows that it doesn't matter now, anyways—probably never would have. Nico is just as head over heels in love with Percy Jackson as Jason was, before Jason realized that he doesn't have to be in love with Percy just because he was when he was fourteen. Because Jason fell in love with Percy when he was fourteen and vulnerable and Percy was _stable_, Percy made _sense_. But Jason doesn't need the stability like he used to.

He has this epiphany with his arms wrapped around Nico's waist while they stand on the street outside the movie theater in the snow on Christmas day. He wants to tell someone, anyone, but the only person who knows what's going on is Nico.

Jason wonders when all of his friends became such good friends that he couldn't tell a single one of them an important secret without the rest of them finding out. For once, he misses the days when it was just him and Reyna against the world.

* * *

When Jason gets home that evening, pushing ten o'clock and knowing his dad and Hera still won't be back yet, Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano is sitting on his couch in fuzzy pajama pants and sipping hot cocoa from Jason's favorite mug. _Love, Actually _is playing on the screen, and it's Thalia's favorite movie, but she's nowhere in sight.

Jason hangs in the doorway of his own house and feels like he's trespassing.

"Reyna," he says, voice too loud and too shaken against the backdrop of Andrew Lincoln professing his undying love for Kiera Knightly.

She looks up at him, gaze cool, and the minute tightening of her fingers around the thick, ceramic mug is the only sign that she's at all affected by Jason's presence.

"Jason," she replies, voice impassive. "Thalia said you were going to be gone all day."

"It's ten at night," Jason says, arching a brow. "It's not even day time anymore."

Reyna purses her lips, her gaze dropping down to her mug briefly before she looks back up at Jason. He says, "Speaking of, where _is _Thalia?"

Reyna's gaze flickers towards the ceiling. "Upstairs," she sighs. "She had a phone call she didn't want to take in front of me."

"Who was it?"

Reyna's gaze is careful, considering, eyes still as dark as Jason remembered, and they broke up four and a half years ago and it still hurts that she never felt like she could talk to him, because the entirety of eighth grade, Reyna was the only person who would talk to Jason and he honestly, childishly thought they were going to be together for the rest of their lives, and then he wasn't good enough for her.

There's a part of Jason that isn't sure he'll ever be good enough for anyone. He wasn't for Reyna, he wasn't for Piper, he wasn't for Percy, and he won't be for Nico, either.

"Your mom," Reyna is saying. "I had to convince Thalia to answer. She could probably use the moral support, if you want to join her."

Jason grimaces. "We fought earlier today. I don't think she wants to talk to me right now."

Reyna shrugs, looks back at the TV, and Jason knows when he's been dismissed. He heads for the stairs, but Reyna's voice stops him in the hallway.

"You can watch with me, you know," she says, her voice wobbling between uncertain and uncaring, and it's the most Jason has ever gotten from Reyna.

He backtracks and sits on the couch with Reyna, far enough away that they're not in danger of shifting positions and accidentally touching each other, but close enough to show that he's okay with this. After a moment, Reyna holds out the mug to him, and Jason takes it from her, takes a drag, and doesn't take his eyes off the screen.

* * *

"I never hated you," Reyna says, cocking her hip as she leans back against the counter, arms crossed over her chest. The way she rolls her eyes at Jason is almost fond, and the hum of the microwave and the loud pops of the popcorn punctuate her words, a stark reminder that this isn't like old times even though the tension between Jason and Reyna has eased. "I just wasn't at a place in my life where I needed a boyfriend."

Jason forces his gaze to the ceiling in order to avoid rolling his eyes. "I wouldn't know," he says, unable to keep the traces of bitterness out of his tone. "You never told me what was going on in your life."

When he looks back at Reyna, she's scowling. "My sister had just run off to join a cult that believed men had no other use than sexual pleasure, Jason," she snaps. "My dad was fucking insane and my mom was dead. It was like living on a minefield in my own home, and you were the best distraction from that. But I _wasn't ready for a boyfriend_. I was fourteen, and I shouldn't have dated you to begin with, not when all I wanted was someone to make me feel like I mattered. You were…you were perfect." Her voice softens, her shoulders relaxing, that fond look in her eyes again. "You deserved better, you know? That's why we broke up. I wasn't good enough for you."

Jason's eyebrows shoot up, and he opens his mouth to protest, but Reyna silences him with a glare. "I'm not asking for pity, Jason Grace," she says, just shy of an order. "I'm telling you why we broke up. Don't think for one second that I think I'm not good enough for you _now_. If we'd met now instead of as eighth graders, things would have been different."

Jason wants to say _but i always thought i wasn't good enough for you _and _why didn't you tell me any of this was going on _and _if you'd told me i was a distraction from the start it wouldn't have hurt as much as it did when you left_, but he bites it all back, says instead, "I've spent pretty much the last four years in love with the same guy. We probably wouldn't have dated at all if we'd met now instead of as eighth graders."

Reyna's brow jerks up in surprise, the first genuine emotion Jason has seen cross her features all night. Then she laughs, soft and easy, and Jason is reminded of how beautiful she is. "I'm seeing someone right now, too," she says, mouth still quirked up at the corners. "This girl who works for Silena and Beckendorf at Adonis Café, actually. Calypso. Have you met her? Thalia says you go there all the time."

Jason's startled laughter echoes through the kitchen. "You're dating Calypso?" He shakes his head, grinning. "Leo has been hitting on her since she started working there two months ago. Piper and Rachel are betting on how long it takes before she gives in and goes out with him as a pity date."

Reyna looks unimpressed. "Who?" she asks uncertainly, and Jason realizes that he didn't meet Piper, Leo, or Rachel until high school. The only person he knew in eighth grade is standing right in front of him, and this is the first time he's spoken to her in four and a half years.

"My friends," he says after a moment. "I'll tell Leo to knock it off, now that I know you're dating Calypso."

Reyna shrugs, and Jason can't read her, not as well as he used to. She says, "What about you? Tell me about this guy you spent your entire high school career in love with. Did you ever work up the courage to ask him out, or have you just been pining helplessly after him since you met?"

Which is how Jason ends up telling his first girlfriend about Percy Jackson.

"Wait," Reyna says, and the popcorn has long since finished cooking but it's still in the bag, sitting out on the counter and ignored because Jason's pathetic love life is apparently more interesting than food. "So, you have _everyone _convinced you're dating this kid? Even Thalia?"

Jason grimaces and nods. Reyna shakes her head. "She's going to kill you, you know. They all are. I can't believe you're stupid enough to lie to all of your friends about something like this."

Jason laughs helplessly. "I probably shouldn't mention that it gets worse, then, huh?"

Reyna groans. "Your life is a fucking teen movie," she mutters, then motions with her hand. "Go on, then. Regale me with more horror stories."

Jason snorts, rolls his eyes. Says, "I kind of like Nico. A little bit. Enough that I'm not really thinking about Percy anymore. Like, in general, I am. Because this whole stupid thing spawned over Nico not wanting to admit that he doesn't have a boyfriend and me not wanting to admit that I was in love with Percy. And because Nico never stops complaining about how much of an asshole Percy's boyfriend is. But even _Luke _is growing on me a little bit. Like even though he's totally an asshole, I can see why Percy likes him. Couple that with this stupid, out-of-fucking-nowhere crush on Nico, and I…god, I didn't even feel anything when Percy hugged me goodbye tonight. When he hugged me before he went back to college after Thanksgiving, I _felt _it, you know?"

Jason knows, rationally, that he's not making any sense. But there's no way to put it into words, the way you can hug someone you're smitten with and feel it like electricity in your bones, or the way it was different from hugging Percy tonight.

For the first time since the day Jason _met _Percy Jackson, Jason sees Percy as a _friend_, not the gawky teenage boy Jason was in love with. It's…nice.

* * *

They're waiting for Percy and Luke in Adonis Café, because they _somehow _got roped into a double date (Nico says it's Jason's fault. He's probably right), when Nico shifts on the couch, turns to face Jason, and says seriously, "We should make out."

Jason nods. "Yeah, okay," he agrees, and the next thing he knows, he has a lapful of Nico, a knee on either side of Jason's hips, his tongue in Jason's mouth and his hands on Jason's shoulders.

Jason barely refrains from moaning, has to wonder why Nico is kissing him when no one else is around and doesn't dare let himself hope, and then Nico shifts and grinds down, just a little, and _oh_. Right. Making out in public is a bad idea.

Jason pulls away with every intent of telling Nico that this is a bad idea. Honest. Nico just moves his mouth down Jason's stubbled jaw line, his neck, sucking softly on the junction between Jason's shoulder and his neck, and Jason can't stop the sound that leaves his mouth, somewhere between a whimper and a moan, and his hands scrabble for purchase along Nico's spine until his fingers finally settle in Nico's belt loops, just underneath his t-shirt.

"PDA!" someone hollers, and that's Percy's voice, shit, but Nico's mouth is still moving, pressing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on Jason's collarbone as he arches over Jason and Jason lets out a breathy whine, his fingers tightening. "Uh, guys, seriously," Percy says. "Luke and I were totally planning on cuddling on that couch, come on."

Nico makes his way back up to Jason's mouth, and this kiss is dirtier, sloppier, Nico grinding down in Jason's lap and Jason clinging to Nico's belt loops like they're a lifeline, drowning underneath the onslaught of _want _that is whirling through his body like a tornado. Every inch of Jason wants this, but—not right now.

"Okay, okay," Percy is still talking above them, rambling, and Jason can hear Luke's amused chuckle but Nico is practically _purring _into his mouth and it's hard to focus on anything but the way Nico's body is moving against his. "Never mind, you guys are clearly busy, Luke and I will just, you know. Sit here and wait for you to finish and—holy fuck, no, don't _literally _finish, please if you have ever loved me at all do not fucking get off on that couch, I do not need to think about you guys fucking every time I come to this café, goddamn it."

That's what makes Jason finally detach from Nico's mouth, and when he looks at Nico, the younger boy's eyes are glazed over, his mouth swollen and red and the skin on his chin and cheeks are pink and scruffed up from Jason's stubble. He looks thoroughly _debauched_, and it makes Jason want to kiss him all over again, but—no. No, there's a reason he stopped.

"Uh, hey," Jason says, winces at how hoarse his voice is and clears his throat. He gives Percy a sheepish smile. "Sorry."

Then he sees Luke, one hand at the small of Percy's back and the other in his pocket, decked out in a nice button up and slacks and _glasses_, for fuck's sake, and this is not the same Luke who wears ripped up Green Day t-shirts and shredded skinny jeans and combat boots. (Jason glances down surreptitiously and Luke is definitely wearing combat boots but it's still _weird_.)

Percy follows his gaze, and his grin widens. "Dude, I know, right?" He plucks the glasses off of Luke's face and puts them on his own, widening his eyes at Jason through the lenses. "He's as blind as you are, I swear to god. Hey, give me your glasses, I want to compare your levels of blindness."

"I'm dating a child," Luke groans. "I can't take you anywhere."

Percy gives Luke his glasses with a wide grin. "It's not my fault you're so fucking old," he teases.

Jason feels like he can't breathe, tuning out their banter. Nico shifts in his lap, cheeks still flushed red but eyes soft and concerned, hands cupping either side of Jason's face. "Okay?" he asks quietly. Jason looks at him, wonders how he can possibly say _i spent two years not wearing glasses because percy jackson told me i was blind and all this time it was a stupid joke and it's like this weight i didn't know i was carrying has been lifted off my shoulders and also i feel like the biggest fucking idiot in the entire world_.

Percy is saying, "Next thing you know, you'll be shaking your walker at me and telling me to get off your lawn."

Luke makes a face. "I'm not _that old,_ Percy. I'm twenty-four."

"You're a cougar, Luke," Percy retorts, grinning from ear to ear. "You only want me for my youthful body."

Nico whispers, "Can we bicker like an old married couple, too? It sounds fun."

Jason starts laughing, helplessly, pressing his face into Nico's neck, shoulders heaving through his hysterical laughter, and Nico pets his fingers through the back of Jason's hair like it's absent-minded, snickering a little bit into the top of Jason's head.

After another moment of listening to Luke and Percy bicker (something about some guy named Ethan whose dorm Percy and Luke made out in), Nico slips off of Jason's lap onto the couch beside him, curling into his side and settling his hand on Jason's thigh. He looks up at Luke and Percy innocently as he interrupts them to say, "Were you guys wanting to get lunch here, or go somewhere else? There's this really great Italian place down the road that Jason took me to last week. We could go if you want."

Jason almost asks _when did i take you to an italian restaurant _before he remembers that he's not _actually _dating Nico, and it's like a punch to the gut. This is all fake for Nico, and it sucks, because Jason wants to take Nico to get Italian food and he wants to make out with Nico in Santa Land and he almost wishes he'd never gotten over Percy Jackson, because he'd rather be in love with someone who is dating someone else than have to pretend that he's not helplessly smitten with the guy he's pretend-dating.

* * *

Luke is talking about how he got the scar on his cheek (he literally opened up the conversation by pointing at his face and asking in a mock-sinister tone, "Wanna know how I got this scar?" and Percy had laughed so hard he snorted cola up his nose and even Nico had to give a reluctant chuckle) and Jason is finally starting to see in Luke what Percy sees in him, could even see himself hooking up with Luke if the circumstances were entirely different, and then Percy excuses himself to use the bathroom, muttering something like "fuck you, I still have cola in my nose" as he totters off.

Luke looks back at Jason and Nico, and Nico folds his arms over his chest, his gaze cool and impassive. After a long, tense moment, Luke offers, "He's going to be smelling cherry coke for days."

Nico snorts, shaking his head, and Jason laughs, too. The tense line of Luke's shoulders eases and he grins at them, and then Nico stiffens underneath the arm Jason has over the back of his chair.

"Fuck," he mutters quietly, and Jason glances over at him to see his gaze trained on a blond on the other side of the restaurant.

"What?" Jason asks, and Luke follows their gaze, arching a brow.

"Um," Nico says, his cheeks flushing red, and he swirls his straw through his drink as he avoids Jason's eyes. "Did I ever tell you about my ex-boyfriend, Will, from New Orleans?"

Jason frowns, looks back at the blond across the restaurant. "Is that him?"

"Yeah," Nico confirms. His cheeks are still red and he still won't meet Jason's gaze. "Apparently he's in Manhattan now. Of all the fucking places in this huge fucking city…" he grumbles, and that's when the blond—Will—glances over and sees them. Makes eye contact with Jason and offers a friendly smile before he catches sight of Nico and his grin widens, all shiny white teeth and dimples, whiskey eyes full of laughter, and Jason is immediately, helplessly jealous.

His arm tightens over the back of Nico's chair and he tells himself he has _no right _to be jealous when he and Nico aren't even really dating, and even if they were, it wouldn't matter, because Jason is still friends with Piper and he's still friends with Percy (even though they never technically dated) and he's finally patching things up with Reyna after years of guilt and wondering where they went wrong, and he still hates this guy, Will, who he's never even heard of.

(The fact that he's never heard of Will gives Jason some kind of sick satisfaction, like Will wasn't even significant enough for Nico to mention, and that only makes Jason feel worse.)

"Nico," Will is saying, his voice deep and soft and Jason can just _tell _that he's a musician.

"Will," Nico says, voice clipped and controlled. He doesn't look up from the table. "I didn't know you were in Manhattan."

"I moved here with my band to get closer to the music scene," Will says, and Jason thinks _i called it, he _is _a musician_. "I'm actually farther north, but I'm here with my boyfriend for Christmas break, since his cousins live here. What about you?"

Nico looks up, then, eyes narrowing as he looks Will over. "I live here," he says flatly. "I moved here to stay with my half-sister after Bianca…" He stops, voice breaking slightly, then presses forward. "My dad decided it would be better for me, so."

Will nods sympathetically. "Sorry, I heard about that. It's part of the reason I came over to say hi, actually. I didn't mean to interrupt your…" He trails off, looking at Jason and then at Luke, his brow furrowing. "Date," he finishes lamely, and the look of confusion on his face almost makes up for what he's thinking about what Jason, Luke, and Nico are all doing at this table together.

Percy drops into the seat beside Luke, groaning. "Fuck my life," he says. "I'm going to be smelling cherry coke for weeks." He side-eyes Luke and adds, "This is all your fault," before he takes note of Will's presence.

"Will!" Percy exclaims, and then he jumps up out of his seat and bodily throws himself at Will, wrapping around him in a hug, and Will doesn't even stagger under Percy's weight, just loops his arms around Percy's back and grins.

"Percy," he says, bemused, glancing back at Nico. "Didn't expect to see you here."

Percy peels himself off of Will, placing his hands on his hips. "Okay, to be fair, this is _my _hometown. You're supposed to be with Jake in, like, Cuba or something."

Will arches a brow. "Percy. Jake is an engineering student and I'm in an acoustic cover band. Why the fuck would you think we're spending our Christmas break in Cuba?"

Percy shrugs. "I thought Clarisse mentioned it. Don't worry about it. Wait, is Jake here, too?"

Will grins, points towards the bar where a muscular guy is glancing their way, face lighting up in a grin as he sees Percy.

Distantly, Jason hears himself say, "Is that Jake Mason?"

"You know him?" Will asks, looking back at Jason.

Jason's trying to think of the best way to say _he's my best friend's cousin and i kind of hooked up with him when he visited during the summer before his freshman year of college _when Jake makes his way over to their table, pulling Percy into a hug before loping an arm around Will's waist, grinning at Jason.

"Jason Grace," he says, "haven't seen you in, what, a year?"

"Not since you went to engineering school," Jason agrees, feels the heat in his cheeks and Nico's curious gaze.

"How do you know each other?" Percy interrupts.

Jake snorts, exchanges a wide-eyed look with Jason, before admitting, "We hooked up the summer before my freshman year of college, when Jase going into his junior year, I think. He's best friends with my cousin, Leo."

Percy blinks slowly, then looks down at Luke and says, "Honey, never let me grow old. I am having enough trouble keeping up with who knows who as is, I am never going to make it as an old man." He collapses back into his seat, and Luke laughs, darting in to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Wait," Nico says, looking at Jason with something akin to a pouty scowl, "you slept with Leo's cousin?"

"You slept with Leo's cousin's boyfriend," Jason shoots back, and he's joking, except that he's not, because _they're not dating _and he doesn't want to be jealous and for two seconds it felt like Nico was actually jealous or something and Jason _wants that_, so desperately. Wants permission to be jealous and wants Nico to get jealous, too.

Nico goes stiff, and Jason knows he's crossed a line but he doesn't know what line it was and he doesn't know how to fix it.

"Yes, Jason," Nico says, his voice going eerily calm. "I slept with Will. I slept with him because we dated throughout the majority of my sophomore year of high school. Just like you slept with Piper when you dated her, and just like you slept with Percy this summer. Except it's not the same as with Percy because Will actually _cared _about me."

Nico's jaw clicks shut as soon as the words are out of his mouth, and Jason jerks away from Nico like he was slapped.

Percy says, "Wait, you told Nico?" and somehow manages to sound like a kicked puppy when he does.

Jake says, "Yeah, okay, that's our cue to go. See you guys later," and latches onto Will's hand, dragging him away from the table.

Luke looks concerned, eyes going back and forth between Percy and Jason like he's not sure he really knows either of them after all.

Jason clenches his jaw, stares at the table, and thinks that he could hurt Nico in this moment. He could. He could snap out something about Nico's crush on Percy, he could tell Luke and Percy that it was all fake, that they were only pretending to date to cover Nico's lie.

When Jason was in therapy with Dr. Brunner, he used to say that it was Jason's job to be the mediator. To bring peace. Dr. Brunner had meant between him and Thalia, Jason knows. Because Thalia was always too brash and too abrasive to back down from a fight, and Jason was supposed to be the one to calm her down and smooth things over.

Jason could ruin Nico's life right now. But he won't.

"Percy and I might have just been fucking around," Jason says, quiet and calm and controlled, even though he's accepted that this is out of his (shaking) hands now. "He might not have cared about me, but _I _cared about him. And that means something. That means it mattered. Even if it only mattered to one person in the entire world, and that person was me. It mattered."

He looks up at Nico, then. "You're the only person I told." His voice sounds raw even to his own ears, and he studiously ignores Percy and Luke's presence, because he needs to say this. "Nico, you're the only person I told about what happened between me and Percy. I didn't tell Piper, I didn't tell Thalia. I told you, and I _trusted _you."

He doesn't say _and you threw it back in my face like it meant nothing the first chance you got and i don't know if i can trust you anymore_, because he's pretty sure the implication is in everything he's already said.

Jason stands, takes the coat off the back of his chair and slings it over his shoulders. Can barely meet Percy's stunned gaze, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. But he does, anyways. Gives him a weak smile, salutes, and leaves.

The last time he hooked up with Percy, Percy saluted him. This feels final. This feels like it's finally over.

Jason isn't sure if he's relieved or not.

* * *

It's January third. Percy and Luke went back to college on the first, Annabeth two days before them. Jason spent New Years Eve watching _500 Days of Summer _with Thalia and Reyna and stubbornly refusing to talk about what had happened between him and Nico. ("Piper called _me _to say she was worried about you because you weren't answering anyone's phone calls or text messages, moron. Get your shit together and talk to your pretty boy." "Thalia, I'm not talking to or about Nico. Shut up and watch the movie." "Reyna agrees with me. Talk about it." "I'm not talking about this. Either watch the movie, or I'm going upstairs." "…fine. I hate you." "Love you, too, sis.")

Classes start back up on Monday, and Jason knows he's not going to be able to avoid his friends, or talking about what happened. The night before, Jason almost texts Nico to say _well you got what you wanted. we don't even have to pretend to hate each other_. Almost, but he doesn't. Because he doesn't hate Nico, and he still can't bring himself to hurt the people he cares about.

And, god forbid, but Jason still cares about Nico.

* * *

Nico corners Jason on Tuesday, pushing him into an empty classroom and closing the door behind him. He takes a deep breath before facing Jason.

"I don't want to fight with you," Nico says after a long moment. "I know we were going to have to fake break-up eventually, but that was going to be _fake_. We were going to be allowed to talk to each other and stay friends. I didn't _want _to lose you as a friend when I lost you as a fake-boyfriend."

Jason purses his lips and looks away, tries to figure out a way to walk out of here without hurting Nico anymore than he already has. "Just tell me this," he says finally, when he can't think of anything but the question burning at the forefront of his mind. "We were just _pretending_, Nico. You didn't…you brought up Percy. You brought up Percy, and that hurt, because I told you that in confidence."

"You didn't tell me that at all," Nico says, his voice wet and strained. "I figured it out on my own."

Jason looks up at him. "I trusted you not to tell anyone, and you did anyways."

Nico doesn't reply for a long moment, his eyes red and his lips swollen from biting. Finally, he says, "You didn't tell them it was fake. You should have. You should have told Percy everything the moment I announced to Luke and Will and Will's boyfriend that you'd slept with Percy. That it was all a lie because I didn't want to admit to Percy I had a crush on him. But you should have. You should have told him. Why didn't you?"

Jason closes his eyes, thinks about being twelve years old in a too big chair, his legs swinging back and forth over the edge while he fiddled with a lollipop wrapper and listened to Dr. Brunner's calming voice calling him a mediator. Thinks about Thalia sitting outside the office with her smudgy black eyeliner and her big boots and her recently shaved head and her voice when she hugged him before he went into the office and told him they were going to be okay as long as they stuck together.

"Because I'm not like that," Jason says, his voice tight around the lump in his throat. "I don't say things just to hurt people. I don't let my emotions rule the words coming out of my mouth. I know what hurtful words said in the midst of an argument can do to a person, Nico. I've seen it first hand, and when I was twelve years old, I swore I was never going to say something just to hurt someone."

He opens his eyes again, looks at Nico as emotions war over his features. "Jason," he starts, voice gone quiet and helpless, and Jason shakes his head.

"It's not your fault," he murmurs. "I'm the one who fell for someone I shouldn't have."

It doesn't matter if he's talking about Percy or Nico. This time, he means both.

* * *

January comes and goes. February replaces it. The winter is cold and bitter, and Jason feels it more this year than he ever has before.

He starts hanging out with Reyna and Thalia and Calypso more, tells Thalia what happened between him and Percy that summer, and he and Reyna get to know each other for who they are now instead of who they were when they were in eighth grade. Calypso tells him that she used to have the horrible habit of falling in love with every guy who showed the slightest bit of interest in her, admits to have fallen in love with Percy Jackson just like everyone else did.

"I mean, I met Percy Jackson when I was fifteen," Calypso says. "All the girls in my grade were already in love with him, and he was the reason for half of our guys realizing they liked men."

Jason snorts. "Everyone has their sexual awakening over Percy Jackson."

"Yeah," Thalia agrees, ruffling Jason's hair as she comes back from the kitchen with another beer, "but Percy Jackson had _his _sexual awakening over _you_."

Jason arches a brow. "What do you mean?"

Thalia snorts. "You think he'd ever been with a guy before you? Ever even looked twice at one? Baby bro, you're forgetting I've known Percy Jackson a year longer than you have. Annabeth had him whipped from ages twelve to eighteen. And then they broke up, and that summer, you happened. I'm not saying he wouldn't have figured it out eventually anyways, but you're what did it for him. I'm surprised he _didn't _fall in love with you, actually. Never would have thought Percy could be _just fuckbuddies _with someone, not without having feelings. That's not how he works."

Jason shrugs, looks down at the flat beer in his bottle. "Apparently it is," he mutters. He thinks, _or maybe it's just me, doing that whole not-good-enough thing_.

* * *

Percy turns up on Jason's front porch step the night before Valentine's Day, lips tinted blue from the cold, shoulders hunched up around his ears and scarf wrapped around his head like a turban.

"Dude," he says, teeth chattering, "let me in, it's so cold I can't feel my dick."

Jason steps aside and lets Percy stumble into the house.

"Percy," Jason says, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," Percy retorts. "Obviously."

Jason arches a brow, unimpressed, and Percy sighs, struggling to take his scarf off without choking himself. (Jason has to help him, winding the scarf down around his own wrist until Percy is scarf-free, cheeks flushed red—whether from embarrassment or the cold, Jason can't tell.)

"I just came from Nico's house, actually," Percy says, his voice conversational, like he's talking about the weather. Jason wonders if he's been taking lessons from Piper, because they've both perfected the art of using a casual tone to say something that utterly _wrecks _Jason.

"Oh," he says, his voice falling flat, and he turns, crossing his living room to sit back down on his couch and push play on a _Boy Meets World_ rerun. After a moment, Percy sits down beside him.

"Yeah, oh," Percy agrees. He leans over, resting his head on Jason's shoulder and tucking his knees up to his chest. "He told me," Percy says quietly. "What you did for him."

Jason keeps his gaze fixed on the TV. "It wasn't just for him," he admits, because he hasn't said it out loud yet, and he thinks it's time he does. "I didn't want you to come back and think I'd spent all that time pining over you. I had been. But I didn't want you to know."

Percy sighs quietly. "Jason," he whispers. "Jason, I—"

"I don't want you to pity me," Jason interrupts, and he hears Reyna in his voice even as he speaks. "Percy, I didn't—I didn't say any of that so you could pity me. It's a fact. I had been in love with you since the day I met you, and then we started sleeping together, and we shouldn't have because it didn't mean anything to you and I knew I was only going to get hurt, but I wanted you in any way I could have you. And I _did _get hurt, because you came home at Christmas with Luke and—you never cared. I'm—"

"But I _could have_!" Percy interrupts, pushing himself up off of Jason abruptly. "I _could have cared_. It was new and everything was different and I was _trying _and I thought you didn't care so I wasn't going to do anything about it. Jason, I was so gone on you I would have stayed here for college if you'd asked me to. I wasn't in love with you, but I would have fallen so hard for you if I'd just known you cared."

Percy pauses, takes a deep breath. His voice is calm when he next speaks, the most careful and thought-out Jason has ever heard him. "But I have Luke now. And I really, really like him, Jason. He makes me happy. That first night I introduced him to everyone, when I heard you and Nico whispering about him only using me for sex, I—god, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Because I spent all that time thinking that _you _had only been using me for sex, and it's like. Do you even realize that I've only slept with three people in my life? And out of them, the only one I knew for sure cared about me was Annabeth, and she _broke up with me out of practicality_. Every time I tried going out with someone at college after breaking up with her and sleeping around with you all summer, I could never tell if they liked _me _or if they liked what I was going to do for them with my mouth and my hands and my body. And then Luke and I finally, _finally _got together, and for a moment I stopped thinking about all of that and just let myself be happy. Until I overheard you and Nico saying Luke was only using me for my body."

Jason regrets every single horrible thing he's ever said about Luke, in this moment. Because he knows now, how unfair it was to judge Luke like that from the beginning, how unfair it was to _Percy_, how unfair it was was to even him and Nico themselves, because complaining never made anyone less miserable than they were.

"He's not, you know," Jason says quietly. "I mean, Nico and I were just upset. We were both head over heels after you, and we thought saying all that stupid shit about Luke would make us feel better. Really, though, it just made me feel worse, especially after I found out what a great guy Luke is. He really cares about you."

"Nico really cares about _you_," Percy returns. "I don't think you realize _how much _he likes you. The entire time he was explaining your pretend relationship—which, while we're on the subject, _really_? What made you think that was a good idea? That _never _ends well in the movies—he made sure to say it was his fault, that you were just going along with it because you're a good friend. And he didn't say it, but I kind of got the feeling he's not very head over heels over me anymore."

Jason isn't sure if that's true. And even if it is, he and Nico have a lot of issues to work out before they can even consider doing something about their apparently mutual feelings for each other.

But this, right here, with Percy? Jason can handle this. It's comfortable, easy. It feels like starting over.

* * *

Piper pouts for three days because Jason didn't do it on Valentine's Day.

"But _Jason_," she whines, "it would have been so romantic if you did it on Valentine's Day."

Jason rolls his eyes. "I don't want it to be some grand gesture, Piper. Nico and I actually have to talk this through."

Piper rolls her eyes and calls him boring, cuddles into Annabeth's shoulder and steals a sip of Annabeth's peppermint mocha. Jason wonders how he missed _that _happening, because he'd always known Piper wasn't going to let something like gender get in the way of her dating whoever she wanted (she'd been telling him since they met that gender wasn't relevant to love), but as far as Jason had known, Annabeth had been smitten with Percy up until Leo caught her making out with Piper.

The other thing that's new is that everyone _knows _now. Hazel, Frank, Rachel, Octavian, Annabeth, Piper, and Leo—they all know Jason and Nico were pretending to date so Nico didn't have to admit to not actually dating anyone. Percy told Luke, who told Thalia (because apparently Jason's sister is best friends with Luke now), who told Annabeth, so on and so forth. Jason hasn't talked about it and he doesn't think Nico has, either, but everyone knows now.

"So when _are _you going to do it?" Piper demands, and Jason shrugs.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll show up on his balcony with pizza and chocolate covered strawberries. Does Nico have a balcony?"

Piper narrows her eyes at him. "Did you just make a _High School Musical_ reference?"

Jason grins at her, then shakes his head. "I'm kidding. Sort of. I might actually show up at Nico's house with a picnic or something, but I just want to talk about what happened. Find out if he actually feels anything for me." He sips his coffee and burns his tongue, scowling into his cup before speaking again. "I'm tired of lying to everyone. I just want to be honest with him."

* * *

Jason ends up bringing coffee and Chinese takeout, and he hesitates in front of Nico's house before pulling out his phone and texting Nico. _unlock your front door, i brought a peace offering_.

It's late already, bridging the gap between eleven and midnight, but after a moment, the front door creaks open and Nico steps out onto the porch, wearing flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt for some band Jason doesn't recognize. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorframe, and Jason crosses the lawn, holding up the the coffee carrier and the takeout bag.

"I brought Chinese," he says, and Nico studies him for a long moment before a small, slight smile quirks his lips upwards.

"You're such an idiot," he replies, but his tone is fond, and he turns around and walks back inside, leaving the door open for Jason to follow him.

They sprawl out over Nico's bedroom floor, splitting the Chinese takeout between them, the only light in the room the faint glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling and the dim lamp on Nico's desk.

"Jason," Nico says finally, fumbling with his chopsticks, "what _is_ this?"

Jason pauses in his reach for the fried rice, glancing up at Nico. "This is either us becoming friends again, or our first real date. Your choice. Either way, we have to talk about what happened, though."

Nico's lips part in surprise, his eyes widening. After a moment, he closes his mouth again, jaw tight with determination, and says, "First real date."

Something like relief floods through Jason, and he can't stop the grin that takes over his mouth. "Okay," he says. "Okay. Good."

Nico reaches for the sweet and sour chicken before speaking. "I'm sure you've noticed, but I kind of have anger management issues." He looks up at Jason, offers a wry smile, before shaking his head. "I've never been good at controlling my temper, but after my older sister, Bianca, died in April, it's…it's gotten out of hand, a little bit. I'm really good at saying things to hurt people when we're arguing. I picked it up from my dad."

Jason nods, waits for Nico to continue. "It wasn't fair to you to snap at you in the restaurant. I was scared because I'd finally realized I _liked you_, while we were making out, and then Will showed up, and you…you made that stupid comment about it, like you were actually jealous or something, and I remember thinking that it was just _so unfair _that the only way you would ever be jealous of Will was if you were faking it. So I snapped. And I'm sorry."

Jason almost laughs, because misunderstandings are what his life is made of, and there have been so many lately. He wants to be completely understood, just this once. "I wasn't faking it," he says, enunciating each word so Nico knows he means it. "I was jealous. I care about you. I want to date you."

Nico snorts, grins up at Jason, before looking down at the Chinese settled around them. After a moment, he mutters, "Oh, fuck it," and leans across the food to slot his mouth against Jason's.

He tastes like soy sauce and chicken and peppermint toothpaste and vanilla caramel coffee and whipped cream, and as far as their kisses have gone, this one is the least coordinated, but it's also the best, because, finally, it _means something_.

* * *

_**fin.**_


End file.
